Spread Your Wings: Men in Blue, Book 4 Read online

  Lily couldn’t help herself. She plopped to her haunches in front of her friend, clasping Jambrea’s knees in her hands. “Are you saying?”

  “That I’m a one-hit wonder? Unfortunately so.” She laughed. “Or maybe a solo act. I’m an expert with my rabbit vibrator.”

  “No shit.” Lily was starting to see why the trio was having so much trouble hurdling their obstacles. There were land mines in every direction.

  “And after all this time, I finally find not one but two guys who can make me forget those old dreams, but I waited too long and now they don’t want me either. I feel like if I don’t do something to get over it quick, I’ll waste another decade of my life wondering what could have been. It’s hopeless. Why do I sabotage myself like that?”

  “It’s not you, Jambi, it’s them. This time the line really is true.”

  “So can you help me or not?” Quiet desperation radiated from her friend. If Lily didn’t facilitate a session for her, she’d likely put herself at risk. Maybe troll for a partner at an unmonitored site on the Internet or something. No way would the Mistress in her allow that to happen.

  Guests at the Playground were screened. Their health records were current and they had to demonstrate skill in certain arenas before being allowed to practice riskier acts on other members. The club was as safe a place to experiment as could be reasonably expected.

  “Yes. I can.” Lily smiled. “Why don’t we go grab some lunch and dessert from Mark? While we’re there, you can fill out a survey about what kinds of things you’d like to experience. We’ll get started on the required health forms and background check too. For you, I’ll push things through quickly. How’s Saturday?”

  If they didn’t act fast, Jambrea might change her mind and ruin the plan Lily had begun to form in her mind.

  “A lifetime away.” The taller woman giggled, finally showing some of her usual pep. “Perfect. Thank you.”

  “That’s what friends are for.” They rose together. Lily enjoyed the hell out of their complimentary confection before returning to her duties, and her matchmaking plots.

  Chapter Four

  “I feel like we’ve been called to the principal’s office,” Matt grumbled as he and Clint took chairs side by side in Lily’s stronghold at the Playground.

  “She didn’t sound real pleased with us, did she?” Clint winced.

  “What gave it away? The ‘get your dumb asses down here, pronto’ part of her rant or the ice in her tone—cold enough to freeze my balls off over the phone?” The bigger cop stared at his partner as he crossed his arms. The way Clint eyed his bulging muscles made him shift in his seat. Part of him was pissed right back at Lily. She’d gone and screwed with their minds just when they’d sort of committed to doing something about this crazy thing with Jambrea.

  The sweet woman had been all he could think about for months. She proved over and over again how compassionate, diligent and easygoing she was while he and Clint had danced around a solution to their problem—being massively attracted to the same girl. On the verge of having it all—even in a way he’d never imagined, with his best friend at his side—the game had changed…again…when Lily had introduced another kink in the plan.

  Why had he agreed to that dumb kiss with Clint?

  And why the hell had he liked it enough to hesitate on joining his best friend in bed with their dream girl? Or even asking her on a date. Probably they should start there. Part of the problem was that he had no idea how to do this when three people were involved.

  End result, they’d let their insecurities fuck things up. Twice. Maybe irreparably this time. They were rapidly running out of strikes. Worst of all, they’d hurt the one person they were falling over themselves to claim, however they could.

  “You do know this is all your fault, right?” Clint channeled the spark of arousal in his eyes to fuel his anger, as they both had so often lately. Never before had he and his partner argued this much. It sucked. Both of them were as irritable as the old lady on Seventh, who’d racked up a fistful of warnings for hollering profanities at neighboring kids for everything from saggy jeans to laughing too loud as they walked by. She probably hadn’t gotten laid in half a century either.

  Okay, so it’d actually been more like six months since he’d realized no woman but the adorable nurse inspired him to get it up anymore. But it felt like a ten consecutive life sentences.

  “Really? I’m the problem here?” He glared at Clint. Reputed to have one of the longest fuses of any of the Men in Blue, Matt was rapidly approaching his melting point. Sexually frustrated, terrified of losing his best friend, angry at himself for the wreckage he knew they’d made of Jambrea’s feelings—soon…

  Kaboom!

  As it was, they might have to call in the bomb squad to defuse this situation. Kids hadn’t called him The Hulk in high school—before he’d learned to control himself—only because of his size. “How do you figure, asshat?”

  “This has got to be about Jambi.” His friend took a shaky breath. “If it weren’t for you and all your morals…that preconceived junk, we could have had her already.”

  “When? While she was drunk off her ass after the wedding?” Matt wasn’t sure he knew the guy sitting beside him anymore. What happened to his funny, badass, honorable partner?

  One amazing woman had waltzed into their lives and he lost all his sense.

  Maybe they both had for that matter.

  “Or any of the other chances we had before that.” Clint grumbled. “While you were still in denial over the fact that you and I had a massive hard-on for the same damn woman.”

  “See! That’s what you can’t fucking jam through that hard skull of yours.” He leaned in, snarling in his former-friend’s face. “It was never just about sex for me with her. I wanted more. Not something to risk on a weekend of fun or some novelty arrangement.”

  “Who says I hoped for anything different?” For once it seemed like Clint might be listening. He tilted his head and got real still, like he did when they were on the prowl for a criminal in hiding.

  Unfortunately, that’s when a paneled door in some rich chocolate-hued wood opened to admit Lily and her husband, their fellow cop-turned-Dom, JRad.

  “Thanks for coming so quickly, boys.” In total Mistress form, Lily impressed even as she could have terrified men who didn’t know her as well as they did. Hell, she still scared him in some ways. Blood-red leather clung to her figure as if she’d been shrink-wrapped into it. Studs and buckles alone didn’t account for her junkyard dog tenacity.

  Knowing their friend had tamed a woman like her had increased the already ridiculous respect he’d had for the guy. Clint too seemed awed.

  “That’s what she said, never.” Jeremy cracked himself up as he leaned a shoulder against the rear wall of his wife’s office and kicked one ankle over the other.

  Matt had never seen his friend so comfortable in his own skin. Happy looked good on the bastard, even if Matt had to remind himself that the dude dressed in black leather and chains was his same old computer geek buddy.

  “Jeremy.” Lily rolled her eyes, completely shattering the last of her stone-cold bitch façade. “This is serious.”

  “I know, tiger.” He held his hands up in front of him, palms out. “Go ahead, rip ’em a new one.”

  “Hey, wait a minute.” Clint glared at their teammate. “What the fuck?”

  “I sleep with her every night. Not you.” Jeremy shrugged, not looking a bit sorry. “And personally, I think she’s right to smack some sense into you idiots. I can’t believe you’re still screwing this all to hell.”

  “You’re talking about Jambrea.” Cutting to the heart of the problem, Matt met Lily’s gaze head on.

  “Of course.” She sighed.

  “We’re capable of handling our sex lives on our own. Thanks.” Clint started to rise and likely storm out of the club.

  Lily’s breaking news stopped him cold. “Oh yeah? Then why did she show up here a few da
ys ago and practically beg me to set her up with a fuck buddy?”

  Neither of them spoke. To do that, Matt would have had to breathe. Except everything inside him froze. Stuck as solid as the Tin Man, because without the lovely nurse he was afraid he didn’t have a heart. Especially if he had to journey down life’s winding paths missing his partner too. Surely, they’d never survive this intact.

  Lily took advantage of their stunned silence. “Well, to be completely frank, she requested two men to pleasure her. And I can’t imagine any reason why she shouldn’t have her wish.”

  Clint found his tongue first. “A ménage? But…she’s been running scared from us for months.”

  “One thing the three of you have in common, then. To be fair, you did a lousy job of seducing her while you were too busy trying to one-up each other.” Lily perched on her desk, facing them as she crossed a slender thigh over the other. She swung one of her extreme-heeled boots in time to a beat only she heard. “The way I see it, you have two choices. You can man up, both of you, and give the lady what she wants. Or I’ll pass the opportunity of a lifetime to any of the seven capable and oh-so-willing pairs who applied for the position. Jeremy and I could select a duo that will guarantee her a night to remember.”

  “The hell you will!” Matt roared as he bolted to his feet. He hadn’t meant to knock the chair over in his haste, but the thud it made as it tipped onto the plush rug satisfied him.

  Lily only smiled as she checked-out the prostrate furniture and murmured, “You’re so much alike. No wonder this is tough.”

  When he planted his hands on the immaculate surface of her desk and leaned in, trapping her inches from his face, undaunted by the fierce Mistress, Jeremy took a step closer too.

  “Settle down.” JRad might not have possessed Matt’s physical strength, but something else inside him allowed him to dominate men and women alike. Hell, even Lily bowed to the man. If Matt hadn’t seen that himself, he never would have believed it.

  The force of his quiet warning brought Matt back to reality.

  “Lily didn’t have to give you a head’s up. It wasn’t easy for her to break Jambi’s confidence and figure out the right thing to do in this situation. This has been eating at her for days. Especially since you’ve blown so many chances already.” Jeremy paced beside his new wife, his fingers trailing across her back from shoulder to shoulder. “I don’t appreciate you knuckleheads upsetting my wife. So I think you should be thanking her. And listening. Really listen to what she has to say.”

  Matt took a deep breath, then another. He righted his chair and plopped into it, staring at the intricate carving on the foot of the desk. He’d never felt more like a failure than at that moment. “Sorry, Lily. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

  “Me either.” Clint surprised him by reaching over and squeezing his shoulder. The contact helped ease the crush in his chest.

  “I think you two need to start by figuring out how you feel about each other.” Lily raised a brow when he glanced up. “Unless you think I’m a moron and that I imagined the spark between you when you kissed.”

  “There wasn’t—” Clint instinctively began, snatching back his support so he could wave his hands in front of his chest.

  “There was.” Matt decided she had it right. He wasn’t willing to risk his best friend any more than he’d throw away a chance at the woman they’d both fallen for. Going further down this path would doom them. They couldn’t live in denial forever.

  At least it hadn’t worked so far. Time to be bold, to make some moves.

  Because continuing like this would kill him.

  “There was?” The other guy angled toward him as if to search for signs of humor in Matt’s face. No joke this time. “So why didn’t you do anything about it? You know, after the case closed and we went back to our beat.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Matt swallowed hard. “You never mentioned it, so I thought…maybe I had it wrong.”

  “Holy shit, you two are stubborn.” JRad shook his head. “You’re partners on the force. I’ve seen you save each other’s asses. There you can communicate like you live in one brain. Why is this any different?”

  “Cut us some slack.” Clint leapt to Matt’s defense too. Relief flooded Matt as he realized they might still be on the same side. “This is a lot to take in. We’d already shifted our whole perspective on relationships and what our future might look like in order to fit what fate had handed us in Jambi. Then this on top? It’s like nothing I ever pictured about how my life would go.”

  “Maybe it’s better than you could have imagined before you knew what was possible?” Matt couldn’t stop himself from wondering aloud.

  “Yeah.” The hiss of breath from his partner was followed by the guy clearing his throat. “Maybe it is. Or it could be.”

  “I’m not saying we’re going to solve everything overnight, but I’d like to try. You. Me.” Matt paused, long enough for the other guy to finish his thought.

  “And Jambrea.” There was no room for argument in Clint’s conviction.

  “Exactly.” He extended his hand and Clint grasped it firmly. Their stares burned into each other as they sealed their silent pact. After a few seconds, the intensity had him looking away, to Lily. “And it seems like our girl is the pressing issue. So why don’t you tell us more about what you had in mind for her?”

  The sheen of tears in the Mistress’s eyes surprised Matt. Too much more of that and he might join her. Unacceptable now that they were getting some damn traction. Time to move forward, out of this colossal rut.

  “Just one more thing. While I’m glad I pointed out what idiots you’ve been—” Lily hopped down from her perch and joined them. “—honestly, I feel bad for you. Partly responsible. I know we weren’t in an official scene that day. Still, I should have followed up with you guys. Made sure you processed the interaction. It’s what I would have done for my submissives. I accept I had some part in this. And that’s why I’m willing to help you fix the mess you’ve made.”

  “Y-you will?” The waver in Clint’s question socked Matt in the gut like a perp’s errant fist or maybe a roundhouse kick. It hurt worse, actually. Struck deeper.

  “Yes, honey.” She hugged Clint, making Matt kind of jealous. It sucked watching the other man in a state of distress. Hell, that’s all they’d really existed in for months now. He wanted to be the one to comfort his best friend, to support him as they had done for years. They’d never had a problem they couldn’t figure out between them. Until now.

  “Would you like Jeremy to leave?” She looked to Matt, her serious stare promising they were about to get really personal.

  “Nah. JRad is one of our brothers. There’s nothing we would hide from him. Or any of the Men in Blue.” Matt sighed. “Do you think this will change how they see us?”

  “Seriously? You’ve wasted even a single second worrying about that?” JRad chuckled, not in an entirely amused or polite kind of way either. “Considering the example Mason and Tyler have set for us all, why would you think anyone would judge you? None of us exactly conform to the traditional view of a relationship. Well, maybe Razor and Izzy. Even the boy wonder knocked his girl up before they were hitched, though. Would you think less of them for that?”

  “Hell no. You know I don’t.” Matt couldn’t believe JRad would assume he’d be such a prick.

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “I don’t want the guys to think I was like…in the closet or something.” Matt winced. “I didn’t lie to anyone. Not myself. Not Clint. And not any of the Men in Blue. I didn’t feel this way until I met Jambi. And honestly, not really until your wife stirred up trouble. Like she said…”

  Before JRad could get riled, Matt clarified, “Despite what you might assume, I’m glad she did. But I felt like if I suddenly jumped Clint’s bones or something that he’d think I’d always harbored some secret crush or some shit. It wasn’t like that.”

  “Hey, don’t you think you cou
ld have talked to me about this?” Clint interrupted. “I wouldn’t have thought that. Hell, it never crossed my mind that I’d consider being with another dude until that night either.”

  He cleared his throat.

  “Look, Matt’s right about one thing. You guys have more issues than we can fix in an hour or two. Or hell, even a day.” Lily stopped them before they drowned themselves in overwhelming emotions. That’s what’d ground them to a halt so many times over the past couple months. “So why not take it one step at a time?”

  “Which one first?” Clint rubbed his chest over his heart. Matt wished he had the right to hug the other guy.

  “Well, if you two don’t step up to the plate, Jambi’s going to be getting it on with some of my clients in about three hours. So, that probably takes priority.” She had the manners to look a little sheepish.

  “Tonight?” Matt’s heart raced.

  So soon? He wasn’t ready, was he?

  “I didn’t want to give you enough time to freak out.” Lily came over and petted his hair. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, the reassurance in her fine touch was welcome. “You two are overthinking all of this. Go with your instincts. I know you have them. It’s what makes the Men in Blue great at their jobs. Trust yourselves.”

  Clint blew out a long breath. “Just do it, you mean.”

  “Literally.” JRad chuckled from where he leaned against the wall.

  “Remember, this is all about her. That should make it easier. Your only purpose is to bring her pleasure. As much of it as you can give. Certainly a selfless goal like that should keep all your individual nonsense at bay, right?” Lily rested one hand on Clint and one on Matt, binding the pair together.

  “I guess. One thing…” Matt couldn’t shake a sliver of doubt.

  “What now?” Lily’s narrowed eyes dared him to ruin her plan.

  “What if we do this, tonight, then can’t work stuff out? Between us. Or her. Long term. I don’t want to set her expectations too high and not be able to deliver. I couldn’t stand it if we disappointed her more than I feel like we already have. Jumping right into sex might not be smart. What will she say if she learns later that Clint and I are into each other? Will she feel like we lied to her?”